A low-key, anti-burnout space to step away from the daily grind and just enjoy some intellectual play. This is our running archive of texts that connect the brain, how we act, and how we find meaning.
No rigid homework—just human curiosity.
By Olivia Laing (Picador, 2016)
"There is a gentrification that is happening to cities, and there is a gentrification that is happening to the emotions too, with a similarly homogenising, whitening, deadening effect. Amidst the glossiness of late capitalism, we are fed the notion that all difficult feelings—depression, anxiety, loneliness, rage—are simply a consequence of unsettled chemistry, a problem to be fixed, rather than a response to structural injustice or, on the other hand, to the native texture of embodiment..."
"I don't believe the cure for loneliness is meeting someone, not necessarily. I think it's about two things: learning how to befriend yourself and understanding that many of the things that seem to afflict us as individuals are in fact a result of larger forces of stigma and exclusion, which can and should be resisted."
Some thoughts to get us started on this discussion:
In reading this book, what stayed with me is her expansive exploration of what is quite difficult to speak of. When you look closely at loneliness, it isn't just about being alone (although it is that!); it is also a profound desire for integration, for becoming whole when things feel disconnected.
In the first part of the book, Laing touches on that Winnicottian idea of the "psyche-soma" split—that terrifying feeling of falling apart, or feeling isolated because you have no way to communicate what is happening inside you. She then takes us on a journey where we look at how people use "transitional objects" (like a simple piece of string, or a piece of art) as an extension of communication to hold onto unintegrated material when words fail.
Along the way, she catalogs the lives of these artists and the city itself in ways that completely caught me off guard. There’s this beautiful surprise in seeing how Andy Warhol used his tape recorder as a literal shield against intimacy, or how Edward Hopper’s paintings capture the stark architectural barriers of New York that mirror our own internal walls.
But by the end, it is my sense the narrative completely shifts. The "cure" isn't just about finding another person to stop the ache; it's about learning how to befriend yourself and realizing that this isolation is shaped by larger external forces of stigma and exclusion. Loneliness is personal, but it is also collective. There's no need for shame here. What matters is staying open, staying alert, and remembering that the pursuit of individual happiness doesn't excuse our obligations to one another. We are in this accumulation of scars together.
How We Meet: When we hop on the link, we’ll start by reading this page together. We will then take 5 minutes of quiet time to scribble down whatever thoughts, reactions, or personal resonance come up for us, and then join back together for the discussion. No pressure, no performing—just a space to arrive and talk.
Next Gathering: Friday, June 26th at 12:00 PM
Google Meet Link
On the Radar:
The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness – Arthur Brooks
Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will – Robert Sapolsky
The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss – Mary-Frances O'Connor
Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection – Vivek Murthy
The Voices Within: The History and Science of How We Talk to Ourselves – Charles Fernyhough
Elderhood – Louise Aronson